When was the last time you enjoyed being surrounded by men? With just a bit more courage, you can find surprises in love everywhere in life. How can you smile with your eyes and lips to make a man irresistibly drawn to you?
Do you remember the first time you met your crush? You two unexpectedly ran into each other in an elevator. At the moment your eyes met, your heart fluttered, your cheeks flushed, and you suddenly felt parched. Instinctively, you knew this man could bring color to your life. You licked your lips, gazed at him affectionately, and then turned away with a sweet smile. As you walked gracefully away, you could feel his heated gaze of admiration. That’s when you knew your flirting strategy had succeeded, setting the stage for a wonderful new romance.
From the perspective of both romantic relationships and personal growth, flirting not only adds fun and flavor to life but is also an innate human drive, according to psychologists. While past research believed the flirting process was male-dominated, akin to male animals courting females, recent studies show women hold the reins. Women signal their interest to encourage men to pursue them. Psychologists call these subconscious signals “flirting.”
Body Language to Heat Up the Romance
When used cleverly, body language can accelerate the warmth in a budding romance. When alone with him, use small gestures to increase contact: lightly tap his hand to agree with his opinion, gently stroke his hair, whisper in his ear, and let your knees touch occasionally. Writer Wu Danru suggests the most effective flirting methods are deep gazes and attentive listening. “Gaze deeply at him, making him feel like there’s no one else in the world,” she advises. Many women mistakenly believe that once a relationship is stable, flirting is no longer necessary. In fact, appropriate flirting can rekindle the initial sparks and even revive his sexual desire. Experts suggest the following flirting tips work anytime, anywhere, with surprisingly effective results:
- Lick your upper lip while gazing deeply at him.
- Lightly touch your lips with your middle finger, as if savoring the sweetness of his fingers.
- Mimic Sharon Stone’s leg-crossing move in “Basic Instinct,” revealing just enough to heighten his desire.
- Get close enough for your breasts to brush against his arm, and run your fingers along the back of his neck, sending shivers down his spine.
- Undo the first button of your dress and ask him to help with the rest, then turn and hug him unexpectedly, giving him a sweet compliment.
When alone together, whisper your admiration or seductive words in his ear, and if both are interested in taking it further, it will excite him instantly.
Take the First Step in Flirting
Dr. Jiang Hanguang, a renowned psychiatry department head, explains that for men, physical intimacy often enhances their sense of security more than knowing they are needed psychologically. Therefore, timely flirting can bring a different spark to the relationship.
Flirting can positively impact your relationship by capturing your lover’s attention, increasing intimacy, and showing that you desire his passion. If you are naturally conservative and want to revive a tired relationship through flirting but don’t know how, remember to show some vulnerability and ask for your partner’s help. Journalist Ye Shushan, known for her career achievements, reminds herself not to be too strong when alone with her partner and asks for help with household tasks to satisfy his sense of being needed. “I never open bottles with a can opener or fix cars myself in front of my husband, although I’m perfectly capable,” she says. Ye believes that showing vulnerability and asking for help can add fun to the relationship.
Using Flirting to Develop Your Sexual Self
Learning how to flirt can also help develop your sexual self, overcoming shyness and enhancing intimate relationships. Marriage counselor Lai Yuzhi says flirting is similar to acting: both allow one to temporarily forget their timid “self” and can significantly change one’s personality over time.
On the surface, a woman who is bold in expressing her sexual self appears sexy and lively, thriving in interactions with the opposite sex. In life, she is more proactive and resilient in facing challenges.
You might think you lack the potential to flirt because you don’t have a stunning figure or Cindy Crawford’s allure, nor Scarlett O’Hara’s kittenish charm. However, experts say an attractive flirt’s key is not in their looks but in displaying confidence and focus. Professor Fang Lansheng from the Culture University’s Night School Department of Mass Communication states that a focused gaze and graceful posture are the most effective flirting methods. “Observing carefully and understanding the other person’s needs are the most irresistible ways to flirt,” he says.
In terms of relationships, being honest about your sexual needs and letting your partner know how to please you is the essence of flirting. “Making flirting a part of life” doesn’t mean being a flirtatious butterfly but understanding its importance in developing your sexual self and maintaining a relationship. This internalizes flirting as a part of your personality. Actively developing your sexual self makes you invincible in relationships because men will never know what surprises you’ll bring next.
Flirting is an interactive process, and only when both partners are equally enthusiastic can perfect intimacy be achieved. Here’s how men and women flirt:
Ten Flirting Moves for Men:
- Lean back in the chair with arms crossed behind the head, looking at the other person: expressing interest without touching.
- Stand straight, showing he’s ready to protect the other person.
- Swing his hips confidently while dancing.
- Walk with a relaxed, confident stride.
- Laugh loudly: demonstrating his masculine charm and paternal nature.
- Adjust his tie.
- Cross his hands behind his neck.
- Tilt his chin up slightly, looking rugged and carefree.
- Speak softly but firmly when expressing his stance.
- Place his hands on the table or his lap, showing he’s gentle and non-threatening.
Ten Flirting Moves for Women:
- Smile to show she’s available and interested.
- Young girls widen their eyes, lifting their eyebrows.
- Quickly lower her eyelids, tilt her chin, and turn away to indicate reluctance for casual intimacy.
- Cover her mouth while giggling: a gesture of submissiveness seen in young girls or compliant women.
- Shrug her shoulders to show helplessness.
- Toss and display her luscious hair.
- Sway her hips or position them to one side to accentuate her curves.
- Walk gracefully with arched feet.
- Lick her lips suggestively.
- Push her chest forward.